It's been a year...

[iluvtofu]

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Tofu’s passing.  I can’t believe how much I still miss her and how I still tear up every time I think of her.

Tofu was my first dog (and pug), and we learned and grew together.  During the short time we shared together, she learned to trust me and so she gained confidence while I learned to be patient and strong, especially when she became ill.  She was a very laid-back dog (which could be partly due to her illness) and very loving.

She won the hearts of everyone who met her; even my mom and cousin, who never seemed to like dogs until Tofu – that day when my mom referred herself as “grandma” to Tofu, I knew that she was indeed a special little girl, and I am very honoured that I was chosen by her to take care of her until she passed away.  

We will give Roxy extra hugs and kisses tonight to remember her sister she’s never met.  

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For those who don’t know the story of Tofu, here it is:

I adopted Tofu in Oct. of 2006 from a friend of Dave's aunt.  Although she was spayed, they said that they didn’t have any medical papers for her, nor do they remember the vet’s information because they moved. They never told us that she had any medical issues, and at that time, we didn't know any better to get her checked out as she seemed like a healthy dog to us. We noticed that she drank a lot of water, but her previous owner said she was always like that, so we just thought she was a thirsty pug.  At first, she had accidents around the house, but it slowly stopped.  

5 months later (and still acting fine), we brought her in to get her teeth checked out because she had bad teeth and bad breath.  We discovered that she had a UTI (who knows how long that’s been there!?) then she got her bloodwork done to schedule her dental work.  The vet called us back and said Tofu was severely anemic and that her kidney values were very high.  We were then referred to a specialist, who told us that from the looks on the ultrasound, her kidneys were small and weren't functioning normal, and that it could be either from an uncured infection or it was congenital.  A biopsy would’ve determined the cause, but because it was evasive and there is no cure for kidney disease, the only thing we could do was to maintain it; we were warned that one day, her kidneys would fail.  I got so many opinions from my relatives to put her down, but I knew that was not even an option – Tofu was a fighter and boy, did she ever prove she fought hard.

For the first couple months after diagnosis, she still seemed like a normal dog - she'd play, go for walks and was happy; those who didn’t know her wouldn’t know she was sick.  However, every 3 weeks or so, we had to bring her in for check-ups and had multiple blood transfusions.  We also had to use a needle to prick underneath her skin to give her saline solution to help flush out the toxins from her kidneys.  She was never scared of all the things she had to endure – she still loved her car rides, even though they were to the vet’s office to be picked and prodded.  I think it was because she trusted us that we were giving her the best care we could.

However, in October of 2007, things started to go downhill.  All she wanted to do was sleep and she developed a problem with her jaw to prevent her from eating.  We had to liquidfy food and give her supplements.  She didn’t always want to eat and it was always difficult to think of things to give her that wouldn’t be bad for the kidneys (I had to make a homemade food, but with less meat and more carbs).   Ultimately, I had decided to make an appointment to bring her in and to say bye, but two days prior to that dreadful appointment, on November 25, 2007 she passed away… that day I was away from home all day; when I went home, I found her in my laundry basket (considering how she was doing, I’m surprised she could even climb in).  I called her name and I saw her tail wag for just a few seconds, and then it stopped.  That’s when I knew she had left. To this day, I think that she was waiting for me to go home so she can say bye.

[Petunia and Penelope]

Yona, you were (are) such a great mom! Tofu couldn't have lived her final days with a more caring person! I can't imagine how much you must miss your little girl, our thoughts are with you today.

[Pam]

I am so sorry for your loss.  What a story!  She was very lucky to have you even if it was for such a short time.  She  went to the bridge with happy memories of you  who loved her so much.

[ruby]

as i said before, i have never met you or tofu but i have always been profoundly touched by your love for her.  what a wonderful pug mom you are and thank you thank you thank you for sharing tofu with us.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss.
She sounds like she was an amazing girl!

You obviously loved her very much.

[Pugpillow]

Oh Yona.   Tofu's last year should have been her worst, but because of your love and tenderness with her, no doubt it was her best.  I'm so glad she chose you for her final and hardest chapter.  She has left an indelible stain on your heart to remind you of her love for you.

[Carol]

Tofu was a very lucky puggies to have found a wonderful pug mommy to spend her last days with. Thanks you for sharing your story with us. Our thoughts are with you today.

[Candace]

Our thoughts go out to you and Tofu. She was well loved and still is!
Take time to enjoy the memory of your sweet girl.

[1pugforme]

Thank you for sharing Tofu's story, it brought a tear to my eye and made me think of my Chow Chow Ming-Ming who passed away at the age of 18 Jan 3 2006, she waited until a came home from work also. Tofu will always hold a special place in your heart, thinking of her will bring a tear to your eye but also a smile to your face. My thoughts are with you today.

[Diane]

I remember very well what you were dealing with and how much to cared for Tofu.  Tofu was in the best hands and I'm sure appreciated everything you did for her.

[lmcpug]

Hi Yona,

You speak so caringly of Tofu and I am positive that she was waiting for you  These little guys just "know" and hang on till we can say good bye!
They are truly a very brave lot!

Lori, Pugman and Bubba!

Tofu..... hope you and my Honeybear and Shygirl are playing happy in green pastures!

[Ben12]

Very sorry for your loss.  I know how it feels.  We lit a candle last week to mark the second anniversary of our first Pug Buster's journey to the Rainbow Bridge.  You gave Tofu a wonderful year, and she gave you love in return.  I can't think of a better gift.  Thank-you for sharing her with us.

[Andrea]

Thank you for sharing your story of Tofu. Tofu was very lucky to have such a wonderful pug mom who loved her so. Thinking about you at this time, it is very hard to get over the ones that touch us so deeply.